Peace? Is that you? It’s been a while. We used to be friends. Things have changed. Can we try again?
You know that feeling when you’re walking and suddenly you become aware of your body and every movement goes from feeling automatic to extremely deliberate, and then you start to lose the rhythm of the whole thing and wonder if you’re doing it right, then it feels like everyone is watching you and it’s all you can do to not trip over your own feet and face plant into the cement? You have thoughts like, “Just look natural.” and “Is this how I normally walk?” or “I must be going crazy. Walking shouldn’t be this hard.” That’s the kind of season my whole life is in. On one hand, I finally kind of feel like an adult at 33 years old. On the other, not much is familiar and some of the simplest tasks take more energy than they should, making me feel like a lost little boy.
Between the last four years of having my faith and worldview turned upside down and the political climate of the last presidential season, cynicism has been looming on the doorstep of my mind for a long time. Inner peace has been an easy achievement for me most of my life, but a person can only endure so much. I’ve been writing for hours. When I read back over it, there’s not much hope in it. Hints of humor and rambling, but little hope. Peace is hanging by a thread, which is why I jumped at the chance to participate in the 25 days of peace. My hope is that every day we get just a little closer to it. Even if it’s just a little. Progress will to be celebrated.
For today, I have been good enough. I know, I know, good is the enemy of great. Forget about that for today. Today I did good enough. Am I breathing? Where else do I need to be? Nowhere. At this very moment nothing is missing from my life. We have to start somewhere, and good enough is a great place to start.