Originally posted at joshuastairhime.com
“I have things to do, and people to see. I don’t really have time for this whole project this year.”
I really do have things to do, and people to see. Maybe more so than any other year, I find myself trying to balance work, personal work, work I’ve promised others, rest, sleep, and relationships. It has been a bit tricky to say the least. I have not been successfully fulfilling all of my commitments the last few weeks, and to an extent it bothers me that I have chosen to spend time on this project every day.
I guess on average it takes me an hour or two to complete a post, if we include the time I spend thinking about it, thinking about starting to write, starting to write, and then finishing a post. For someone who only has a 24 hour day, it feels like a lot of time to spend on something that I am not getting any material benefit from. Even if all I did with that extra two hours was sleep, wouldn’t that be at least something material?
Many aspects of this process are very much like work, and for me to stand here and say that I am reaping a harvest of peace right now would be for me to lie to you. I fell asleep last night mid-conversation with someone, and had to apologize when I woke up in the morning. I find myself leaving work a bit early so that I have time to work on posts, which costs me my hourly wages, and a bit of standing in my job.
This is the way I find myself thinking, if I do not make a deliberate choice to focus on the hidden, but very tangible benefits of this process. I am not reaping a harvest of peace right now. I am planting the seeds of peace so that I may one day reap that harvest. A farmer doesn’t harvest his crop and then do the work after he has received all of the benefit, but instead does the work hoping that he will one day harvest what he has planted.
Today I am a farmer, planting seeds of peace for my future. Tomorrow, I hope to feed the nations with my harvest, filling them with the future harvest of today’s hard work.
I will not change the world tonight. I will not change the world tomorrow night. Perhaps if I faithfully continue to plant, I will find I’ve grown the resources to change the world in the future.
So if you have been struggling along on this journey with me, I ask that you keep planting in faith that we will one day harvest the peace we seek.